Lifecoach advice: The role of self-confidence in success

How we see ourselves is more important than how anyone else sees us. If we don't work at loving and accepting ourselves, nothing anyone else thinks matters. How To Build Self-Confidence There is no one else like you on this planet. No one looks like you, has the same talents, experiences or perspective as you do. You are unique and are therefore here to make your unique contribution. If we each focus on what we bring into the world to share, there can be no comparisons, envy or regret. We are here to "contribute a verse". Give it your best. When you do the best you can with the best of what you've got, you can't help but feel good about yourself and that confidence comes through in everything that you do.   Persevere. Everybody has setbacks and obstacles to contend with. Don't let them undermine your confidence. Treat them as opportunities to strengthen your resolve and then persevere.  Overcome adversity. Overcoming adversity builds and strengthens self-confidence. The greatest songs, works of art and literary pieces have been written by those who have experienced the depths of despair, loss and emptiness and overcame them. Experiencing sadness and loss and then rising above them gives rise to hope and triumph. It makes you stretch and become more than you were. Accomplish something. Set goals for yourself and then push yourself to reach them. Self-confidence soars when you know you can do what you put your mind to. It makes you feel unstoppable. Separate yourself from the event. You are not what happens to you or how you believe others see you. In other words, you are not defined by what happens to you or how others see you. You are who you choose to be - a person of character, dignity and self-confidence. Confront your fears. There's nothing that destroys self-confidence more than succumbing to fear. Everyone feels fear at various times; we're human, however facing circumstances with courage and poise strengthens character and builds self-confidence. Good looks do not equal self-confidence. Some of the most attractive people in the world are insecure and lack self-confidence. Marilyn Monroe was considered to be one of the sexiest and most beautiful people in the world yet she lacked a positive self-image. She misguidedly allowed external factors to determine her self worth. Good looks help you feel good about yourself, but are by no means enough.  Learn how to give yourself a pep talk. We all have our down moments, moments of doubt, confusion and uncertainty. When that happens we have to learn how to restore our self-confidence. One way is to understand that everyone goes through such moments. When that happens the thing to do is remember past successes, visualise the desired outcome and keep at it. Practice makes perfect. Self-confidence is absolutely essential to achieving success in any endeavour. You acquire it by doing, learning, accomplishing and persisting. If you watch successful people you will usually find that they are very self-confident. Self-confidence may have come to these people on account of their success, but usually self-confidence is present in people before they become successful. Once they start working toward success, usually self-confidence and success run parallel, each fuelling the other. Being a confident person has many benefits not just in your personal life, but also in business. Whatever may be your ambitions, building up your self confidence to a certain level will play a major role in you achieving success and facing crises that come your way as you travel the path to success. The best way to gain confidence is to allow your positive attitude to come forth. If you are swamped with negative thoughts, you will be hampering your chances of succeeding in business. When you think positively, it will give an impetus to your progress and you will be able to overcome difficult periods when success seems a distant dream. While success and self-confidence are related, there is no guarantee that one will lead the other. Self-confidence does not equal egocentric people. These people display high levels of self-confidence together with arrogance. They feel they are masters and know everything there is to know about their trade. This often is mistaken for self-confidence and can hamper success. It is our ego that upholds our importance and will often get in the way of attracting our best life. It is therefore necessary that we reduce the importance of our ego. When you decide to reduce your ego (the part of you that is full of fight and always wanting to feel justified and be right) you begin to expand your self, your wisdom and the memory of your soul - who you are, in essence. The goal here is to bring those outer qualities to your world and refrain from constantly trying to massage your ego with affirmations of how important you are. If you can do this, you will produce changes in your life in a gentler, more low-impact way. Though success and self-confidence exist in progressive harmony, if you work towards improving your confidence, your growing confidence will support you on each step as you work towards success. And as you get successful, your self-confidence will increase. As your self-confidence increases you will become like a magnetic in that people will desire to be in your company. If you feel ready for help in boosting your self-confidence I am here to help. For more details contact: Nuala Duignan, Dip. Life and Business Coach, at info@nualaduignanlifecoach.com Or on 087 2532675 Further details available at www.nualaduignanlifecoach.com