'Every generation has less children than the one before it'

Jean's Journal with Jean Farrell

Don’t I look very small standing between these military men? The photograph was taken in Custume Barracks on Saint Patrick’s Day. As an adjudicator of the parade I was invited to a reception there. It was held just before the parade began.

Captain Billy Henshaw, from Coosan, welcomed me to The Officers’ Mess. He is on the right of the photo. On the left is Major Brian Thornton, who was also an adjudicator. Brian was a Major with the American Army National Guards for 25 years. This interesting man spoke to Billy and I about the many years he spent, with The American Army, in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Can I add a very serious aside here? 30,000 young men have been killed, so far, in Ukraine. More have been killed in Gaza. Isn’t war just terrible? The only winners are the arms dealers.

Whilst judging The Saint Patrick’s Day parade, it sent a shiver up my spine to see the army tanks pass by. Thank God we live in a peaceful country.

I was invited to a lovely award ceremony, last week, by the Croí na hÉireann committee. They organise the five-day festival around Saint Patrick’s Day. All the groups who took part in the parade were there. We were treated to displays of Karate, dancing, kick boxing and more. Great credit is due to those adults who give of their time voluntarily to these groups and to the committee of Croí na hÉireann.

I wrote about The Civil Service last week. A friend laughed at a granny’s comment, in my article. “The Civil Service is full of old maids.” Indeed it used to be. Some sensible women decided not to marry. This was because they would have to give up their financial independence if they did.

Most young girls, in the past, dreaded the thought of becoming a spinster, an old maid or being ‘left on the shelf!’

The marriage ban (rescinded in 1973) only applied to white collar workers in Government jobs, and in the bank. It didn’t apply to women in manufacturing jobs or privately owned businesses. When I was young, married women continued working in these jobs until they had children.

Civil Servants are definitely not leaving their jobs nowadays. The headline of a national newspaper stated recently, ‘Women outperform men for top Civil Service jobs.’ And the salary is very good indeed.

I’m returning to a topic I wrote about last week. Nowadays, lots of girls spend years in college studying a subject of their choice. Much effort, money and time goes into getting their degree. They work at their chosen career, earning a good salary. And then they have children, as well.

I observe my own adult children and my numerous nieces with their young babies, young children and young teenagers. They all work outside the home, as well as in it. It seems like a colossal amount of never ending hard work.

One niece, in Dublin, told me that her toddler wakes at 3am every morning and won’t go back to sleep. This woman has to go into school and teach honours maths to Leaving Cert students. Another was made a partner in the accountancy firm where she works. However, she had to give up her partnership because she was expected to work late into the night, long after her small children were in bed. The nine-year-old girls seem to have the characteristics of difficult teenagers, and the actual teenagers are on their phones constantly. These are good normal children!

All their mothers work, all day, in demanding jobs. Then they come home to demanding children of all ages.

Did we do an injustice to the present generation of young women by giving them the message that that they could pursue a career and rear children?

It is interesting that the next generation of women are deciding that they cannot do it all. They cannot get to the top of their profession and rear children as well. Birth rates are falling in many countries, for this reason.

‘Every generation has less children than the one before it,’ I read lately. There are many online sites such as ‘We are childfree.’ These are for women who celebrate ‘different paths in life.’

However, it is not simple and straightforward, as we know well. Mother Nature is stronger than any rational thinking! Our basic instinct is to reproduce, hence the strong yearning for a child. Babies bring much joy. A rewarding job bring great satisfaction, as well. The two together, for parents, are the problem.

One of my nieces is a doctor, with three small children. A mother of five came to see her lately looking very worn-out. My niece asked her, “Do you feel tired?” I suppose I do,” the woman replied, wearily. “I haven’t slept for 12 years.” The doctor understood perfectly!

I know, I know that we did it all too, but most of us didn’t go out to work as well.

The Pope is not pleased that many couples are choosing to give all their love to pets instead of children. During a general audience at the Vatican, he said, “Today, we see a form of selfishness. We see that some people do not want to have a child. They have dogs and cats that take the place of children.”

If the good Pope hadn’t slept properly for 12 years, if he had to actually give birth to and rear these same children, he might agree that a pet is definitely an easier option!