Jean's Journal: Our backstage disaster!

I’m showing the photo (above) of Catherine and I performing The Six Marys, so you will understand how necessary our props are for our show.

We were invited to perform my play as part of a prestigious festival in Newcastle West, County Limerick, recently. The festival is held annually to commemorate a local poet, Michael Hartnett.

I was hugely impressed with the line-up of famous people taking part. The Minister for Culture, Patrick O’Donovan, a Limerick man, opened the festival. Poets, Paula Meehan and Theo Dorgan were guest speakers, as well as journalist Justine McCarthy and rugby player Keith Earls.

Oscar-winner singer/songwriter, Glen Hansard was closing the festival. “We always include a comedy item,” I was told. “Last year we had Jon Kenny from the D'Unbelievables. This year we have you.”

How impressed was I to be included amongst such prestigious names?

'Storm Amy' hit Ireland that weekend. As Catherine and I drove south, torrential rain fell, all the way. We were very glad to arrive safely into Newcastle West on Friday evening.

Our performance was to be at 3pm on the Saturday. Storm Amy would be at its most ferocious at exactly that time.

We left our props in behind the counter of our venue, on the Friday night. A girl told us they’d be safe. Torrential rain was still pouring down.

The next day the storm was raging as we drove to the venue, to set up our show. The door nearly blew off our car when I opened it. We wondered would the play even go ahead at all. And if it did, would anyone come?

We went into the venue and saw that none of our props were where we left them the previous night. A different girl was on duty.

When we asked her about our many bag of clothes and props, she went as pale as a ghost. “Oh my God!” she exclaimed in horror. She and another girl had been collecting stuff for charity, for ages. They had assumed that all our props were for them. Every single thing from our bags had been emptied into black sacks. Some of the sacks were already on their way to Limerick!

Horror of horrors! This was a pure disaster! The girl said that a few of these sacks were still in a room out the back, maybe we’d find some of our props in them. The poor girl was most apologetic and very upset. It wasn’t her fault at all. It was a lack of communication.

She took us to a room full of big black sacks! Our stress levels were sky high as we frantically searched through them. “There’s the statue of Our Lady,” I said. “And there’s your nun’s rosary beads. It’s wrapped around a man’s trousers.”

I really, really needed to find my big gym slip and Catherine was desperate to find her nun’s habit.

I needed my white long lacy cardigan and veil for the wedding scene. There was no sign of either. “Here’s a white waistcoat,” Catherine said, “You can wear that. And here a white lacy blouse you could put on your head.” The waistcoat was size 26 and huge!

“What are we going to wear for the 1960s scene when we are teenagers at the hop?” Catherine wondered, as we flung all the clothes out onto the floor. I spotted my tin of Vim and my little bottle of gentian violet.

We picked up mini-skirts and tried them on. We picked up women’s dresses for later scenes and tried these on too. They were all awful - either much too big or much too small.

Out the window, we saw a car arriving with five women in it. They nearly blew away as they made their way to into the venue.

“Oh my God!” we shrieked. Catherine found her nun’s habit in a ball at the bottom of the last bag. “Praise the Lord,” she shrieked!

There was no sign of other props like my good transistor, my bottle of tomato sauce, my bottle of wine and more.

It was now nearly time for our play to start. To our surprise, people were arriving, in spite of the ferocious storm that was blowing outside.

We gathered up our strange assortment of clothes and props. Back stage, we tried to sort them out.

I must impress upon you that we both are usually very, very organised. We usually have our outfits ironed and in order. We usually have our props exactly where they should be for each of the eight scenes. This is very necessary because I have only 12 seconds to change between each one.

“I hope none of these dresses were donated by women in the audience,” I whispered to Catherine just before the play began.

We were as stressed as ever we have been as we stepped out onto the stage. Every time Catherine came on, in some strange odd ensemble, I had to fight a very strong urge to burst into hysterical laughter. Many of our basic props were missing, so we needed to improvise a lot. It was very very hard work, which required much thinking on the spot. However, as it was the 126th performance of our play, we managed!

I’m delighted to say that the audience really enjoyed this different presentation of The Six Marys.

Needless to say, we were completely stressed out afterwards – for many days!

Now, we are wondering should we head to Limerick and do a tour of the second-hand shops there. This is so as we can buy back our many missing props and clothes!

jeanfarrell@live.ie