Why realistic New Year's resolutions protect mental health

As the New Year approaches, many people feel pressured to make sweeping resolutions that promise instant transformation. However, mental health charity Turn2Me is urging the public to take a more compassionate and realistic approach, warning that overly ambitious goals can do more harm than good.

According to Tullamore native Fiona O’Malley, CEO of Turn2Me, setting unrealistic New Year’s resolutions can negatively impact mental wellbeing and lead to feelings of failure, guilt, and low self-worth before January is even over.

“Every January, we see people feeling deflated and disappointed because they believe they’ve failed at self-improvement,” said O’Malley. “The problem isn’t the person, it’s the unrealistic expectations. For the sake of positive mental health, we need to normalise kinder, more achievable goals.”

Turn2Me outlines four key reasons why people should be realistic with New Year’s resolutions and avoid setting themselves up for failure:

1. Unrealistic Goals Fuel Feelings of Failure

When resolutions are extreme or vague, such as completely changing lifestyle habits overnight, they are difficult to sustain. Falling short can quickly trigger self-criticism and shame.

“Repeatedly telling yourself you’ve failed can seriously damage self-esteem,” O’Malley explained. “That negative inner dialogue can be particularly harmful for people already struggling with anxiety or depression.”

2. Perfectionism Increases Stress and Anxiety

Many resolutions are rooted in perfectionism, the belief that you must do everything flawlessly. This mindset creates constant pressure and anxiety, turning the New Year into a source of stress rather than hope.

“Mental health thrives on balance, not extremes,” said O’Malley. “When goals are too rigid, people feel anxious about slipping up, instead of focusing on progress.”

3. Big Changes Don’t Happen Overnight

Lasting change is gradual. Expecting instant results ignores how habits, mental health, and behaviour really work.

“Small, consistent steps are far more effective than dramatic overhauls,” O’Malley noted. “Sustainable change comes from patience and self-compassion, not from punishing yourself for not being ‘better’ fast enough. For example, if you never run, and you set yourself the New Year’s resolution of running 10km a day every day, from the 1st January, that’s probably not realistic because it’s a huge physical undertaking and if you’re not used to it, you’ll likely injure yourself. Instead, aim for 1km a day for a week and increase that by 1km a day until you get to the 5km or 10km mark, and instead of running every day, consider every second or third day - that’s more sustainable. It gives the body a chance to recover and allows for the times when life gets in the way.”

4. All-or-Nothing Thinking Can Undermine Mental Health

When people believe that missing one day means the entire resolution is ruined, they are more likely to give up altogether. This “all-or-nothing” thinking is closely linked to anxiety and low mood.

“Life is unpredictable,” O’Malley said. “Missing a workout or having a difficult week doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human.”

A Kinder Approach to the New Year

Turn2Me encourages people to reframe resolutions as flexible intentions rather than strict rules, such as focusing on wellbeing, rest, connection, or simply getting through each day as best they can.

Turn2Me provides free online counselling and mental health support services across Ireland, helping people access professional help when they need it most, all available 365 days a year, on Turn2Me.ie