Jean's Journal: Confirmations

This photograph was taken in 1971. Many of you will remember Sister Bernard, pictured on the right. Her kindness and compassion touched many - so much so that The Docks area in Athlone is now called ‘Sr. Bernard Quay.’ She lived, in an apartment there, in her later years.

Sister Bernard, born in Arigna, was principal of St Peter’s National School from 1974 until 1993. Sadly, she died in a car accident in Athlone town, in October 2020.

Sister Bernard taught my young sister, Mary Coyle. In the photo, Mary is sitting on the extreme left, in front of Father Cox. The pupils made their Confirmation in fourth class back then, as did most of us.

Mary was aged ten in 1971. My two sisters and I were in our early twenties. We envied her because she didn’t have to wear a white dress and veil, like we did, at our confirmations! All the girls in the photo are now in their mid-sixties!

I’m writing about Confirmation because last week I attended two Confirmation ceremonies. My granddaughter was confirmed in Knockcroghery by Bishop Kevin Doran, in the Diocese of Elphin and Achonry.

My grandniece was confirmed in Mountmellick by Bishop Denis Nulty, in the Diocese of Kildare and Leighlin.

These sixth-class girls, on the cusp of adolescence, all looked lovely. The vast majority wore pretty knee-length dresses and white denim short jackets. All wore Converse trainers, what I call ‘runners’.

The ceremonies were long, as each child had to approach the bishop and be anointed with Chrism. After both ceremonies we had very sociable evenings, with relations and friends of the families, as we all celebrated the girls’ Confirmations.

I had many very interesting chats with interesting friends and complete strangers. I’ve been thinking about various stories I heard, which I will share with you.

One woman, my age, is a retired teacher, whom I’ll call Mrs Murphy (not her real name). She told me that she was in a bar, one night, with her husband. Both were sitting sedately, having one drink, minding their own business. A crowd got up to leave. Mrs Smith spotted a past pupil, aged 30, whom I’ll call Sandra (not her real name!) Sandra was very drunk and was being held up by her friends, equally drunk!

Much to the ex-teacher’s dismay, Sandra spotted her and fell into the seat beside her. “Mrs Murphy,” she shouted. “Wasn’t I thick as the wall, wasn’t I, Mrs Murphy?”

Pointing to all her friends, she said, “Tell them. Go on. Go on, tell them how stupid I was. Go on, tell them”. Poor Mrs Murphy muttered that she had been grand.

Sandra wasn’t having any of it. Standing up, she grabbed her ex-teacher’s shoulder. “You’re lying,” she shouted. “You’re a liar. I was as thick as that wall, thicker even.” she added, letting go of Mrs Murphy to bang on the wall.

This caused her to fall onto the table and then onto the floor. Such excitement and drama was greatly enjoyed by all her drunken pals – many of whom were also ex-pupils of the ex-teacher. Two barmen arrived and unceremoniously evicted the whole drunken party.

What another woman had to say fascinated me. She told a group of us that she gets up early, at 7am, and spends all day, every day, cleaning her house from top to bottom. That’s okay, but it was the extremes she went to that intrigued me.

She told us all that if she goes to bed before her husband - she knows that he will not have straightened the cushions in their sitting room. She waits until he falls asleep, then she goes down and puts the cushions in a straight line on the sofa and arm chairs. The next bit of this true story really intrigued me.

She said, “Then I go out the back door, in the dark, and look in the window to make sure that they are absolutely straight. I wouldn’t be able to sleep a wink if I thought my house wasn’t perfect.” What I found most astonishing was that she didn’t seem to think that this behaviour was astonishing!

We all laughed at the next tale. A woman told us that she had filled the dishwasher, one night, and then discovered that she had no dishwasher tablets. She said, “I decided to use ordinary washing-up liquid instead. I opened the door and squirted in a lot, all over the dirty dishes. BIG MISTAKE!

When I went into my small kitchen, an hour later, the whole room was covered in suds – it was like walking into a white fog.” She told us that when she made her way through it to open her dishwasher, loads more suds kept emerging. Her daughter came down the stairs, saw the kitchen, and shouted up to her sisters, “Come down, girls, quick. Mammy is having a ‘foam party’.”

I heard a local woman ask, “Did ye see the gang, in the third row, inside in the church? There was the Confirmation child, her mother, her mother’s boyfriend, the child’s father, his girlfriend and her three children.”

One bishop actually addressed such situations. He said to put personal issues aside and for everyone to remember to make the day a happy memorable occasion for the child. He added that the Holy Spirit was amongst us and that we could pray to Him for help and guidance.

Indeed, we could all do with His help and guidance, which I prayed for at both Confirmation ceremonies.

jeanfarrell@live.ie