Jean's Journal: Readers' comments

by Jean Farrell

Today I am sharing readers’ comments with you. I wrote recently about how some people, after the death of a loved one, find consolation in keeping an item, belonging to the deceased person, close to them.

The cushions, pictured above, are a lovely way of doing so. These are made in The Zip Yard, on John Broderick Street (close to Dunnes Stores in town.) Anne Marie Griffin and her husband are the owners of The Zip Yard, which also does excellent alterations.

Anne Marie reads my column every week. She got in touch to say that readers might be interested in these cushions. I called in to meet her and am glad to share the following with you.

Customers bring in a garment belonging to a deceased person. It could be a jumper, a nightdress, a shirt or even a mixture of garments. Anne Marie (a very pleasant lady) then makes a cushion cover out of the fabric or fabrics. A personal notice is embroidered onto it, highlighting the significance of the garment.

Anne-Marie told me that there is a great demand for these. Some people order one for all members of their families. She told me about a cushion cover that she made recently which was brought to New York.

A woman returned from the States to bury her father here. Her adult American son had the loveliest of memories of his Irish grandfather, whom he had visited many times, as a young child. He was very sad that he was unable to attend the funeral.

“Every time I think of granddad I see him in that green stripped shirt,” he told his mother, as she set off for the funeral in Ireland. “It had a little pocket at the top and he used to keep a clove-rock sweet in it, especially for me.”

His mother spent a month in Ireland after the funeral. She managed to find the old green stripped shirt. Anne Marie managed to make it into a cushion cover, with the little pocket still on it. And his mother managed to find clove-rock sweets!

She wrote to Anne-Marie, from America, to tell her that her son was quite overcome when she presented it to him. He values it more than anything else he has. This big lad hugs it regularly, reliving his happy years with his grandfather in Ireland.

That’s a happy story. The next one is not so. I wrote about the fact that the children’s allowance money was made payable to the father of the children, pre-1973. He had to sign a form allowing his wife to collect it. Some men refused to do this. They collected it themselves and went straight to the pub, where they drank it all.

A woman told me that her father did the same. This was in spite of the fact that his many children needed shoes, clothes and basic food. “My mother, God rest her,” she said, “put thick cardboard into the soles of our shoes. She turned collars. She ripped old jumpers to have wool to knit cardigans for us. And, all the while my father was wasting much-needed money, pouring drink into himself.”

The reason I’m mentioned this is because she told me of a situation, here, in Athlone town, which I had forgotten about. She said that the father, next door to them, was another ‘useless article!’ He was a soldier in the army. Every Friday, when he was paid, he went straight to the pub and spent most of his wages there.

However, his wife was made aware of a special scheme that the army had in place for such situations. The wife could go to the gates of the barracks herself, on a Friday. She would be handed out a large portion of her husband’s wages, in cash, into her own hands.

I don’t know how a wife had to prove that her man was useless. It must have been very demeaning for her. And I’m certain sure that the alcoholic husbands were furious. They probably took their rage out on their long-suffering wives. However, as least she was in charge of the money and could spend it wisely. I wonder when this scheme ended.

Onto a more cheerful subject now – weddings and meeting new friends! I wrote about advertisements in Ireland’s Own magazine. These are written by men and women seeking partners. A reader contacted me to let me know that similar ads appear in The Farmers’ Journal magazine every week. So, don’t be stuck!

A reader drew my attention to a different kind of app and how one can meet new people. It’s called Timeleft app. It matches you up with five strangers, for dinner, every Wednesday night. The other diners are selected based on a personality test, which you have undertaken. The venue is unknown, until the last minute. I read an article about it since then and I see that it is available in 250 cities, worldwide.

The writer of the article about this app was very much in favour of it. She wrote that it is available in Irish cities too. She travels a lot. Instead of staying in her hotel bedroom alone, she signs up, goes to the venue and usually meets very interesting people. “Everyone at the table chooses to be there,” she wrote. “And you are under no pressure at all. You can leave whenever you like.”

Do you know, if I was younger and alone in a city, I would definitely give this method of meeting new people a go! I think it’s a great idea.

jeanfarrell@live.ie