Different Minds, Same Heart: Moate couple's wedding inspires autism campaign
By Rebekah O'Reilly
A Moate couple are using their wedding to launch a campaign encouraging greater acceptance and understanding of autism and ADHD.
Athlone native Rebecca Wilson (32), daughter of carer Marie Dunning and granddaughter of Assumpta Ryan from Assumption Road, and Cathal Cully (33) will wed in Segrave Barns, Togher, Co. Louth on February 4, 2028.
The couple got engaged at home in Moate, where they have lived for a decade, in December 2024 surrounded by friends and family.
“Rebecca loves Christmas. I arranged a cameo of Santa Claus for our nieces and nephews,” Cathal said.
“At the end, he said there was a gift for a very special lady called Rebecca Wilson, and all she had to do was say yes! I got down on one knee, and everyone was surprised. Rebecca just burst into tears, it was really special.”
The couple have decided to use the major life moment as a catalyst for their initiative 'Different Minds, Same Heart' which aims to spark conversations around neurodiversity.
“At the moment, there is a lot of negative rhetoric around autism and ADHD. You see comments online and people saying it is a trend or that people are being over diagnosed, but that is not the reality,” Cathal said.
“We just want people to understand that these are real conditions that affect people’s lives.”
The couple explained that there are three levels of severity on the autism spectrum, and people need to understand that not every person with autism is impacted in the same way.
“People think autism always looks a certain way. They jump straight to the most severe cases without realising that people can present very differently,” Cathal said.
“Rebecca and I both work, we have normal lives, we are getting married and we are building our future together. That does not mean we are not autistic. It just shows how wide the spectrum is.”
Rebecca added that there's a “wide spectrum”, noting “even between me and Cathal there is a huge difference in how it affect us”.
Cathal's neurodiversity displayed early signs from childhood through challenges with reading and keeping up in school.
“Over the years, autism had been mentioned by doctors and teachers. At the time, autism was viewed very negatively, you were put in a different class, and people could be cruel.”
He added that he “always knew” but didn't get a diagnosis until adulthood.
“When I finally got diagnosed, nobody who knew me was surprised. They were saying, ‘We could have told you that.’ Getting the diagnosis helped me to understand why things had been so difficult."
Cathal went on to attend TUS Athlone to study Digital Marketing, where accommodations were available during exam periods through the means of a quieter room.
“The college were brilliant, it showed me even small adjustments can make a massive difference. It was about removing barriers so I could do my best.”
For Rebecca, her journey to diagnosis was quite different. She attributes this partially to neurodivergence appearing differently in women.
“Autism and ADHD weren't something I considered until I started seeing videos online and thinking 'that sounds exactly like me',” she said.
“I wasn't a disruptive child, so I thought it couldn't apply to me. A lot of people, especially girls, learn to mask their difficulties, even when they're struggling internally, until they burn out.”
Having completed a Bachelors in Accounting and Law, and a Masters in Digital Marketing, Rebecca has always been a high achiever.
She shared that struggles with depression and anxiety caused her to take breaks from work at various times, which she now recognises as signs of neurodivergence.
Discussing the stigma around the rise of autism diagnoses, and late diagnosis, Cathal and Rebecca said more people are being diagnosed because of better resources and education around the subject.
“When you get a diagnosis as an adult, it can be a huge relief because you finally have answers. We didn’t wake up one day with autism or ADHD. We had it our whole lives; we just found out later,” Cathal said.
“The assessments are extremely detailed. You are not just walking in and saying you have something. Psychiatrists and psychologists look at your whole history and they are experts in identifying these things.”
When asked what they hope to achieve through their 'Different Minds, Same Heart' campaign, Cathal and Rebecca said they hope to provide opportunities for education and acceptance of autism, and to open the conversation to a wider audience.
“Education is the biggest thing. A lot of people simply don’t understand how autism and ADHD can present, especially in adults," Rebecca said.
“People often think that if someone is doing well academically or professionally, they cannot be struggling. But you do not always see what happens behind closed doors.”
Cathal added it's about inclusion and making reasonable adjustments for people.
“It should always be about giving people opportunities based on their abilities. Inclusion is not about special treatment. It is about giving people the support they need to be able to do their best.”
To stay up to date with the campaign, follow 'Different Minds, Same Heart' on Facebook and Instagram.